Who are you?

So, it's been a while since I last wrote anything.. but recently (meaning over the last few years), I have been learning one of the most valuable lessons I think anyone could ever learn: who I am. Not the easy "I'm Ethan" type thing, but the real place my identity lies.

Think of it like this, if someone introduced themselves to you, what would they say? "Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm a mechanical engineer and I like sports". Yep, that's one way to do it. Maybe they say where they are from, maybe they say how many kids they have or who they are married to. The list goes on. It all boils down to what makes up our identity. That's a word that is easy on the surface, but means so much to us every single day. Our identity can be the things we do, people we know, or skills we have just to name a few. It is the core of who we are. Stop and think for a minute.

If I asked you to "Identify yourself", what would you say?

Really? Are you sure? Okay.

How important are those things you just said? If you lost your job, got a divorce, or lost that great skill you once had, how would it affect you? Would your whole world be turned upside down? Probably. Here's an example: for the better part of 20 years, I was a baseball player. It was who I was, it was what I did, where I spent my time, what I excelled at. I often introduced myself as "Ethan, the baseball player". Baseball was second only to my name. Essentially, my identity.

There's one problem with that, baseball ended. Summer 2013, baseball was over. Done. Get this, the game doesn't miss me. People are still playing. I'm not, but the game has gone on. There were some tough times going through the transition. Lots of adjustments. Thankfully over my last year and a half playing, there were tough circumstances and unmet expectations that drew my heart out of the game and in to the one thing I knew would never leave me, Jesus.

Now, I knew Jesus and had a relationship with Him since I was a child but having such a large chunk of my identity removed changed things. That space that baseball used to occupy had to be refilled with something. To me, there was only one thing, Jesus. I was driven to Him in times of struggle. When baseball was going all wrong and was near the end. Thank God for that too. I've seen many of my friends struggle with losing the sport they loved. REALLY struggle. And who can blame them? What if you lost your job?  How about your health? Maybe a child? Or spouse?

All of those things are good things but they all change. Kids grow up, companies evolve, health changes over the years. But Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He promises that.

So, back to the original question. Who are you? Aka Where's your identity? Or whats most important to you? I was challenged recently to really think about that question. If I really follow Jesus, then He should be of ultimate importance, and I should be solely rooted in Him. And I know for a fact He is the best thing for any and every person on the face of this planet, then shouldn't I answer that question with "I'm Ethan and I follow Jesus"? After all, there's nothing that carries more weight than the name of Jesus.

A little food for thought...

If you follow Jesus, why wouldn't your answer be I'm ____ and I follow Jesus? He is that important. He has to be.

If you don't know Jesus, what if the things in your answer suddenly changed? What would happen then? Where would it leave you?

My Wedding Day Prayer.

I can't explain how excited I am to marry Casey today for so many reasons, the greatest of which is her love for Jesus. She has helped me grow in my faith over the past 2 years and I'm looking forward to many years of growing closer together and closer to Jesus with her.

I just felt like a little kid at Christmas this morning. Nervous? No. Excited? You bet! Marriage is God's greatest gift to us outside of Himself. He created us relational, to be known AND loved despite the things we can't seem to love about ourselves. A Christ centered marriage is so mucha reflection of that. I can't love her in a way I should. I'm human. Imperfect. A sinner. But I can allow Jesus to help me love her in ways I would otherwise be incapable of.

Marriage note aside... I woke up this morning thinking of all the guests who will be celebrating with us later. Those who know Jesus. Those who don't. Those we've become friends with over the past 6 months or the past 20 years. While thinking about them, my heart broke. I was ecstatic they would be celebrating with us today, but incredibly saddened by those I know personally, who don't have a relationship with the Savior of the world. I plead with Jesus. Marriage is such a reflection of who He is and what He's done for us. It just hit me. I REALLY want the gospel to go out today. I know it's an important day for Casey and I, but its not about us. IT'S NOT. It's about the One who created and sustains us. The One who brought us together. So my prayer this morning isn't for my nerves, Casey's nerves, or a fun time, but a time FILLED with the gospel. A time today that would solely proclaim the name of JESUS. I'm not worthy of having people celebrate me. I want them to see the One who is worthy of all worship and celebration. I pray that our time will not be so focused on us that we forget the real reason to celebrate, the real reason to live, the reason to love.

So, I'm getting married. Awesome!

Jesus' name will be proclaimed. THAT'S what really got me pumped for today. For those who don't often hear of the love of Jesus. For those who have hard hearts toward Him. For those who have never seen the gospel put into practice. Those are the ones I pray for today. That they would see and experience Jesus first hand at a celebration they may not have thought was FOR that.

So let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2


For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

Seek to experience Jesus today. I promise you'll be forever changed.

She said yes!

I figure most of you know who clicked on this solely from the title that I proposed to Casey this past Saturday. And... Well... She did say yes and agreed to marry me. I wanted to thank everyone who has commented on Facebook ,or texted me ,or anything else of the sort personally. I think it's awesome all the support that we have gotten over the past couple days. Casey and I are really excited about this and I couldn't imagine marrying a better woman or follower of Jesus. I really wanted to write this to talk about how important marriage is and what its real purpose is. I know there's lots of people out there who would get married for the tax cut or because they think the other person is good looking (not saying Casey isn't). Those are small, fleeting reasons.

The sole purpose of marriage is to point people to Jesus. The bible says He created is in His own image. So why are men and women so different? Because they each show us what God is like. Am I as sensitive and caring as a woman is? Nope. Is a woman build to lead in the ways men are? Nope. God has created man and woman so different to allow us to greater worship Him through our differences and for us to allow our different strengths to compliment each other.

Marriage is the closest earthly picture we will ever have to what our relationship with Jesus is like. Now, I realize that I'm not married yet and I've got a lot to learn but there's a passage in Ephesians 5 that states this concept very well.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church

This passage is taken the wrong way by so many people. I've heard a lot of women in the past say something like "I don't want to be a second rate citizen to my husband. We are equals." Well, yes, men and women are equals but the bible clearly defines roles for each in marriage. The "wives submit and husbands lead" isn't the whole story. Wives submit as you do to the Lord and husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. These little phrases are often left off when talking about this. To love my future wife as Jesus loved the church. That's seriously a LOT of love... "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." 1 John 3:16. To be willing to completely selflessly lay down my life for the sake of my wife. Wow. Ladies, please tell me who wouldn't be able to submit to a man who treats you that way?

Now, for women to submit to the man as unto the Lord. This is a tough one. I believe I can speak for the entire human race when I say that we like to be in control. I like control. For me, as I have seen Casey do some of this in our relationship, I have seen a better picture of what my submission to Jesus should be like. I've seen her agree with some things I've said that I think we should have done even though she may have had other thoughts on the matter. Needless to say, she expresses those thoughts. I wouldn't make a decision until after hearing what she has said on the matter. Her opinion means a lot to me. It's not the man's job to lead by dictatorship. Marriage shouldn't be a "what I say goes" relationship. That wouldn't be very loving of me.

The closest we get to seeing the relationship Jesus wants with us is through love relationships with others specifically in marriage. I cannot tell you how much my relationship in Christ has grown since Casey and I have been dating. I think the tangible picture of Jesus through her has really given me a greater grasp on who He is and how He loves me. I have since been more drawn to Jesus and my relationship with Him is so much different than ever before. I can safely say that I have a dynamic love relationship with the Creator of the universe who sacrificed Himself for me. Don't read the bible as a list of rules. Just like the passage above, if a woman read to submit as a rule it'd be a lot tougher. If it's read as a love letter from a God who loves you more than you know, then the real intimacy with Him begins. Attempt to grow your relationship with God the same way we grow relationships here on earth, spend time with Him in His Word, around His people, and talking to Him in prayer. He will draw you to Himself. He promised to.

Taking the Time Out

We are often so busy these days. There are numerous things that take up our time from school, work, homework, kids (don't have any yet but I know how they are), and somewhere in there we have to find time to eat, sleep and keep our houses in working order to feel presentable to others. As a former collegiate athlete, I definitely understand the challenge of not having enough time in the day. I would wake up around 7, eat breakfast, go to class from 8-12, then eat lunch and head to practice till 6 or 7, then dinner and finally around 7:30 or 8 the homework can start, bed repeat. I have been really convicted of this recently. Not that any of these things are bad. In fact, most are necessary. I really noticed the lack of eternal value in a lot of the things I was doing. The bible says to do all things as unto The Lord (Colossians 3:23), but that doesn't mean work so hard at what you do to almost fail to notice or invest in others.

It is almost a little sad to me how much of our time is already booked. I mean, there are still opportunities to talk to people, create relationships and share the gospel, but imagine how much more we would be able to do that if we just took some time out of our overcrowded days and set it aside to just build relationships. Jesus took time out of His day to help the least. People we would never think of associating ourselves with. You think Jesus could have said, "I'm sorry kids, I am here to save everyone from their sins and I am desperately trying to train these 12 guys on how to keep the mission going"? Yeah, He could have went that route, but He didn't.

Jesus is our great example. His time on the earth was spent doing one thing; loving others. In everything He did, He loved. He knew the lasting impact that loving people could have on them. In fact, I was blessed with an opportunity to help a lady I didn't know a couple weeks ago. I was leaving Casey's apartment around 11:00 at night after a birthday party for one of her friends. On the side of the road right near her apartment was parked a PT Cruiser with a flat tire. I drove past, looked in the window, but kept going. Not even 20 seconds later I thought, "I'd really like to help that lady". So I did. Turned around and changed her flat. Even when the police showed up to help, I was still there getting my hands dirty taking the lugs off. Long story short, she was really going through a tough time. I won't go through all the details but I know it was an awesome experience for me to be able to take a small amount of time out of my day at an odd time. Did I really want to get home and go to bed? Yes. Was it really rewarding for me to be able to serve this woman? Very much so. In fact, by the end of my time there, I had told her about the Summit Church and was given the opportunity to pray over her. I am so incredibly thankful how God used the situation to meet her where she was at. I don't know how God used or is going to use that, but I pray she saw a little of Jesus that night.

I didn't share that story to brag on myself and I'm sorry if it came off that way. All I did was take the time out of my day. God did the rest. I am so thankful for that story and how God works. It really helped me to see how just the smallest favor for someone can make a drastic difference. We don't know where everyone is at. Maybe that person you just passed has lost someone near and dear to them and are really hurting. Maybe they just lost a job. Just keep an eye on the eternal and don't get to busy for God. He can and will use us, if we make the time. And remember, when this life is over, we won't be measured by how much mony, power, or fame we had. We will only be measured by how we loved.

The Fear of a Loving God

We have all heard that God is love. He wants an intimate relationship, very similar to a marriage relationship, with each and every one of us. This is awesome and something that separates Christianity from other religions. All too often, however, we fall too far in to the "God is love" thing and forget who He really is. I know I have had this happen to me more times than I can count. We intentionally sin or do something we know God says not to all while thinking "oh He will forgive me, He will always forgive me. Jesus died for all my sins whenever I make them." While God will forgive, at its heart, that last statement is wrong.

Let me talk about a little of God's wrath. Remember the one family He saved when the world was so wicked He had to destroy it with a flood? Yep. Noah's family was the only to survive then (Genesis 7). We get the same picture of God with Sodom and Gomorrah. God completely and utterly destroyed the city, only allowing one family to get out (and really less than that because Lot's wife decided to disobey God)  in Genesis 19. The same God knocked down the walls of Jericho, the most fortified city around, without anyone even laying a hand on them (Joshua 6). There are other examples of God's wrath and power in the bible but I think you've got the point.

Whenever God shows up in the bible, particularly in the Old Testament, He shows up as fire. Fire is one of the most powerful things on this planet. It can consume anything if it burns hot enough, and will burn if you even get close to it.

Moses Recieves the Ten Commandments
Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because The Lord descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace and the whole mountain trembled violently. Exodus 19:18

Moses at the Burning Bush
The angel of The Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. Exodus 3:2

Elijah and the Prophets of baal
Then the fire of The Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, and the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. 1 Kings 18:38

The Holy Spirit Descends on the Apostles
Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. Acts 2:2-3

There are four tangible examples of God showing up in a manner that is terrifying. I couldn't have imagined being up on Mount Sinai when Moses recieved the Ten Commandments. If you have a little time, read that story in Exodus 19.

So why don't we see God today the same way the people in the Old Testament saw Him? Simple. Jesus. He doesn't have to punish us here on earth, because Jesus gave Himself so that we might have the oppurtunity to come to Him. The fire we experience will be when Jesus returns for what is His and all others will be cast into the lake of fire. "And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." Revelation 20:15.

What about those of us redeemed by Jesus? How should we think about God's wrath? John Piper says it very well:

Suppose you were exploring an unknown Greenland glacier in the dead of winter. Just as you reach a sheer cliff with a spectacular view of miles of jagged ice and mountains of snow, a terrible storm breaks in. The wind is so strong that the fear rises in your heart that it might blow you over the cliff. But in the midst of the storm you discover a cleft in the ice where you can hide. Here you feel secure. But, even though secure, the awesome might of the storm rages on, and you watch it with a kind of trembling pleasure as it surges out across the distant glaciers. Not everything we call fear vanishes from your heart, only the life-threatening part. There remains the trembling, the awe, the wonder, the feeling that you would never want to tangle with such a storm or be the adversary of such a power. And so it is with God. The fear of God is what is left of the storm when you have a safe place to watch right in the middle of it. Hope turns fear into a trembling and peaceful wonder, and fear takes everything trivial out of hope and makes it earnest and profound. The terrors of God make the pleasures of his people intense. The fireside fellowship is all the sweeter when the storm is howling outside the cottage. 

Jesus is the cleft in the ice. He gives us refuge from the storm. Let's not forget who God is, how powerful of a storm He can bring, and who gave us the shelter we most definitely needed. God is love, but He is also a God of righteous anger. Thank You, Jesus!

Remember the God we serve and how we should serve Him. Don't run from God with intentional sin knowing He will take you back. Draw close to Him knowing He is the one and only who is worthy to be praised. He wants all of us. Anything in between 0 and 100% is just an insult. If Jesus really did what the bible says He did, there is nothing of greater importance EVER. If it isn't, it is an awesome story. It's up to you to figure it out.

Find the Offensive Side of Grace

Grace is a term widely used in the Christian faith. "For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith -- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast" Ephesians 2:8-9. Perhaps that is the most common place to see grace too. I have learned to define grace as the act of giving something to someone who doesn't deserve it. This is awesome when applied to the grace that Jesus showed us. Over the last several months I have seen a new side of grace.

For example...

In my relationship with Casey, I enjoy doing some things for her regardless of whether or not she wants me to. She will shoot me a little evil look when I grab her plate after dinner and take it to the dishwasher, almost to say "why did you do that? You didn't have to do that for me!" I pay absolutely no mind to "the look" because I enjoyed doing that small act to serve her. In the same way, Casey will fold and put away my laundry on occasion. (whether it is because it takes me so long and it frustrates her, or she is just doing it out of the kindness of her heart... I don't know). When I see she has either already finished this, or is in the act of it, I will almost beg her to either stop or say repeatedly, "You don't/didn't have to do that!!!"

To put this on a personal level, someone you have gone to dinner with has offered to pay for your meal. I personally know many people who will decline the offer and pay for their food when a perfectly willing, kind hearted person would have bought it for them. Think about how you were feeling when this happened. Regardless of whether or not you accepted the gift.

Happy? Surprised? Sure. But how about inadequate? Or unworthy? Maybe you feel bad that person would even offer their money.

The surface level of this five letter word is that free gift but as I have learned more and more about it there often a little offense taken too. I don't want Casey to feel like she has to put my laundry away. I don't want her to use some of her valuable time doing my chores. I also don't want her thinking I can't put my laundry away. She also doesn't want me taking my time to put her dishes away when she feels perfectly capable to take care of it.

The good thing here is that while I do take some offense to it, it will also help grow our relationship. The act of serving one another out of selfless love will increase the intimacy. In the same way, our relationship with Jesus can benefit from it. This is not from something that Jesus is going to do for us but how He has already served us beyond what we could ever imagine. Was I a little offended when I learned Jesus HAD to die on the cross for me to spend eternity with Him? Yes, I was. The pride in me said otherwise. On the other hand, as my relationship with Christ has grown, my realization of the gap between God and man has been more and more accurate. I have learned how much greater God is and how much worse I am. These two keep getting further and further apart too. The greater this gap, the greater the sacrifice Jesus had to make, and the greater the offense that can be seen in the cross.

Does this greater offense bring me in to a greater relationship with Him? Absolutely. Have I seen the love of Jesus in those who serve me selflessly? Yes, I have. Have others seen the love of Christ in what I do for them? I pray that they do. Do they find the same offense in the grace I show as the grace Jesus showed us? I certainly hope so. Then Jesus has shown Himself to them through me.

Things, People, and Circumstances Change

Life changes. So many things in life will vary and change when we least expect it. Leaving the unknown something held over the head of many people. With baseball ending recently and school coming to a close, my life is undergoing many of these changes and I'm not going to lie: it isn't easy. Where does God want me after graduation? What does He want me to do? With who? There's so many questions about the future and so much unknown. Why can't I just get this God calendar that shows me when and where all His events are?

As I've been seeking, there's several truths that have revealed themselves to me that make the situation one not of fear of what might come, but excitement of what is to come and how God will lead me there. The God of the universe has cared enough to know my name and know me so intimately that He knows how many hairs are on my head. That God is loving, all- knowing, and all-powerful. There are three of the characteristics of God that most people have heard before and are probably the most well known. How do these apply? Well, very simply:

God is love. His will is best.
God is all-knowing. His directions are always right.
God is all-powerful. He can empower me to do His will.

As God says to Isaiah in Isaiah 55:9, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." This HAS to be a comforting statement. God and His purposes are much higher than ours. He doesn't give us that God calendar simply because we couldn't understand it. Our puny human minds can't comprehend what is tomorrow as it says in Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus is telling us that since we are not God, we shouldn't kid ourselves by worrying about God sized problems. The verse right before that one is one of my personal favorites and one I have recently memorized. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and He will give you all that you need."

So remember that fear of the future? I do. Am I still worried about it? I'd be lying if I said I had 0 worries, but knowing that the God who loves me enough to bring me from death to life has it all in control certainly alleviates a majority of them. When I do worry, my prayer is that God would draw me closer and show me more of Himself. With the intimacy, comes a relationship that is like no other. That very same God has me in the palm of His hand. With every day that passes, as I seek Him, I feel more and more joy in the midst of trials because Jesus doesn't change with my circumstances. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever more (Hebrews 13:8) WHAT AN AWESOME GOD!